Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
