addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
