u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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