Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
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