You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
