I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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