(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
