if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize
