so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
