Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
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