how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
