He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
