Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Randomize
