i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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