my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
did you just send me my own nude
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
