Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
