I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
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