Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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