Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
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