Grow some girl-balls and come out already
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
of course. lets lasso hookers.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
