Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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