yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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