I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
That accounts for only three of the penises
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
