this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
