Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
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