no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize