I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
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