I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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