I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize