wrigley field is MILF paradise
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
