If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize