Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
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