We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Well I just put wine in my tea
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize