I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
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