Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
No...this little piggys going to the bar
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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