She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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