I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
