Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
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