found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
