look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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