I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
