I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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