She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
