i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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