ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
