first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Randomize
