I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
