Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
