I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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