So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
