Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
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