It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
