I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Randomize
