Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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