So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
