I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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