ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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