this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
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