Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
