So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
