Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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