It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I wish my penis had an off switch
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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