not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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