i wish starbucks made bloody marys
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
