I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
