If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
